I love dogs. I would sell my brother into slavery for a Corgi puppy right now. Especially one that knew how to go buy groceries and cook my grilled cheese sandwhiches on a whim.
I understand that I am far too busy to own a dog, not to mention far too broke, but I know that it would not be fair to go and get a dog, and then leave it at home by itself all day. That's a dick move, and for many reasons.
One, if the dog is alone from 9 am til 7 pm, he will likely need to pee or crap within that time frame. So to force them to hold it for ten hours, or to yell at them when they fail to would be a turd move of royal proportions.
Two, I don't know which breeds do, but I do know Corgis do not have thumbs. Therefore, he will be bored as hell all day and not even able to play Playstation or work the satellite remote to put on Cesar Milan, the Dog Whisperer.
Dogs are expensive. The SPCA charges you three thousand and fifty two dollars just to come see a dog, and the adoption cost is triple that.When a dog isn't given attention, and affection, they can become little assholes who will bark all day long, understandably so because they are bored and lonely.
Why in god's name do people go out and get dogs, so they can just leave them outside all day to bark sixty five times a minute, for fourteen consecutive hours? It's like when people take their kids out to the movies with them, and let them cry through the movie all night. You are likely immune to your dog's bark, or your kid's cry, but everybody else can hear them.
If getting a dog is so important to you, you would think you would treat the dog better than leaving it outside for hours at a time, every day, especially now that its November and cold as hell.
Dogs aren't meant to sit in a dog house on a chain by themselves all winter long. If you're going to do that to your pet, then why bother getting them in the first place?
In a nutshell, I will accept all donations of Corgi puppies, or grilled-cheese making, grocery shopping robots effective immediately.
Wednesday, November 3, 2010
Tuesday, November 2, 2010
The Seventh One...
So I found another funny show, and am watching my fifty-third episode in a row on youtube.
I haven't gotten out of my chair since the first one ended, it's becoming a concern.
The show is called "Super Fat vs Super Skinny", and it is pretty close to the show idea I put in my prior blog.
The premise is fairly decent, but there are some shortfalls, but it is a British show so I will cut it some slack.
Basically they take someone who eats way to damn much, and introduces them to someone who is exactly opposite. Then they put them in a house, hilariously called The Feeding House, and have them eat each others meals for 5 days. The highlight for me so far was watching this behemoth sitting there drooling away while this 65 pound thing tries to wolf down her second double cheese beef sandwich. The "Super Fat" as they are affectionately referred to had already polished off her second and final grape hours earlier, and has to endure watching the "Super skinny" gag and act revolted for having to eat so damn much.
Like I said, the concept is pretty decent, and I hope some people watch it, but when I become rich and get my own production company and buying the rights to the show and making it better.
First, Super Fat vs Super Skinny would become a sports show, and have a team of Barges versus a team of 90 pound weaklings in a series of hilarious competitions such as:
Stair Climbing:
Competitors line up side by side at the bottom of a ten step stair case, and have to get to the top before the other.
Edge: Skinnies
200m race:
Patients run 200m, first one across the finish line wins.
Edge: Superfats. The race will be downhill, and there is pie at the finish line.
Who can sit in the sun the longest without sweating:
This would be a bit confusing because you would need an experienced judge to discern sweat from grease.
Edge: Skinnies
Piggy Back Race:
A pair of competitors from each team get together, and one has to carry the other ten feet.
Edge: Skinnies
Who can eat two thousand chicken wings the fastest:
Self-explanitory.
Edge: Obvious.
I find the current format very entertaining, but I hope they take my suggestions into consideration.
I haven't gotten out of my chair since the first one ended, it's becoming a concern.
The show is called "Super Fat vs Super Skinny", and it is pretty close to the show idea I put in my prior blog.
The premise is fairly decent, but there are some shortfalls, but it is a British show so I will cut it some slack.
Basically they take someone who eats way to damn much, and introduces them to someone who is exactly opposite. Then they put them in a house, hilariously called The Feeding House, and have them eat each others meals for 5 days. The highlight for me so far was watching this behemoth sitting there drooling away while this 65 pound thing tries to wolf down her second double cheese beef sandwich. The "Super Fat" as they are affectionately referred to had already polished off her second and final grape hours earlier, and has to endure watching the "Super skinny" gag and act revolted for having to eat so damn much.
Like I said, the concept is pretty decent, and I hope some people watch it, but when I become rich and get my own production company and buying the rights to the show and making it better.
First, Super Fat vs Super Skinny would become a sports show, and have a team of Barges versus a team of 90 pound weaklings in a series of hilarious competitions such as:
Stair Climbing:
Competitors line up side by side at the bottom of a ten step stair case, and have to get to the top before the other.
Edge: Skinnies
200m race:
Patients run 200m, first one across the finish line wins.
Edge: Superfats. The race will be downhill, and there is pie at the finish line.
Who can sit in the sun the longest without sweating:
This would be a bit confusing because you would need an experienced judge to discern sweat from grease.
Edge: Skinnies
Piggy Back Race:
A pair of competitors from each team get together, and one has to carry the other ten feet.
Edge: Skinnies
Who can eat two thousand chicken wings the fastest:
Self-explanitory.
Edge: Obvious.
I find the current format very entertaining, but I hope they take my suggestions into consideration.
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