The Eighth One...

I love dogs. I would sell my brother into slavery for a Corgi puppy right now. Especially one that knew how to go buy groceries and cook my grilled cheese sandwhiches on a whim.

I understand that I am far too busy to own a dog, not to mention far too broke, but I know that it would not be fair to go and get a dog, and then leave it at home by itself all day. That's a dick move, and for many reasons.

One, if the dog is alone from 9 am til 7 pm, he will likely need to pee or crap within that time frame. So to force them to hold it for ten hours, or to yell at them when they fail to would be a turd move of royal proportions.

Two, I don't know which breeds do, but I do know Corgis do not have thumbs. Therefore, he will be bored as hell all day and not even able to play Playstation or work the satellite remote to put on Cesar Milan, the Dog Whisperer.

Dogs are expensive. The SPCA charges you three thousand and fifty two dollars just to come see a dog, and the adoption cost is triple that.When a dog isn't given attention, and affection, they can become little assholes who will bark all day long, understandably so because they are bored and lonely.

Why in god's name do people go out and get dogs, so they can just leave them outside all day to bark sixty five times a minute, for fourteen consecutive hours? It's like when people take their kids out to the movies with them, and let them cry through the movie all night. You are likely immune to your dog's bark, or your kid's cry, but everybody else can hear them.

If getting a dog is so important to you, you would think you would treat the dog better than leaving it outside for hours at a time, every day, especially now that its November and cold as hell.
Dogs aren't meant to sit in a dog house on a chain by themselves all winter long. If you're going to do that to your pet, then why bother getting them in the first place?

In a nutshell, I will accept all donations of Corgi puppies, or grilled-cheese making, grocery shopping robots effective immediately.